Church Planter test FAIL, from Acts 29
December 13, 2008, 12:19
Filed under: Reaction

This is from Acts29 blog

Am I a Church Planter?

Summarized: 20 Characteristics of a Church Planter

1.    Am I a Christian? (John 3:16)

2.    Am I passionately in love with Jesus and is He the Lord of every area of my life? (Personal spiritual dynamics is the second most important area)

3.    Do I believe His word and does it affect my life deeply?

4.    Am I Spirit-filled, Spirit-directed, Spirit-led and Spirit-controlled? (Acts 1:8)

5.    Am I qualified as an Elder? (1 Timothy, Titus)

6.    Do I love the local church as the expression of a gospel community on mission? (Matthew 28:18-20)

7.    Am I a missionary to the city? Am I sent for the advancement of the gospel in the city (John 20:21)?

8.    Do I have a clear vision for this new work? (Nehemiah 1:3, 4; 2:11-18)

9.    Am I willing to pour myself out in obedience to the vision? (Phil. 2; Romans 6)

10.    Am I healthy? Physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually, relationally, maritally

11.    Am I the kind of leader many people will follow? Have I served as a church leader successfully? (1 Tim. 5:22; 3:6)

12.    Can I preach effectively?

13.    Can I guard the doctrinal door with Biblical clarity and tenacious confidence?

14.    Can I architect a new work with entrepreneurial skill?

15.    Am I called to plant a church at this time and in this place? (Acts 17:26; 1 Peter 5:2)

16.    Have my church leaders commended me for this calling? (Acts 11:22-26; 13:1-4; 16:1-2)

17.    Am I a hard worker? Am I persevering? (2 Thes. 3:10; 1 Tim. 5:17-18; 2 Tim. 2:3-4; 2:5; 2:6)

18.    Am I adaptable to new people, places and concepts?

19.    Can I raise the funds needed for my family’s needs? (1 Tim. 5:8)

20.    Am I humble enough to learn from others—particularly from those who have gone ahead of me in different areas?

I understand and respect the thoughts behind this, but honestly could not pass their test.  In reverse order I list my failings.

19. No.  I am a financial train wreck at the moment. We live from God’s hand to our mouths.  We go down to $0 and He provides.  I got a call from a customer I serviced 15 years ago to electrically  rebuild a Lucas boring machine.  Thousands of dollars from a guy I have not heard from in over a decade, to do work I have not done or thought about in the same time . All God. No me.  The thing actually runs!

16. Kinda, my old Pastor sent me out to preach, but the mission has expanded greatly since then.

12.  Only when the Spirit empowers.

11 No.  I never served successfully as a church leader.  Then again neither did Moses until his call and Paul was a failure when he started out.  I was a good fire Chief though, does  that count?

10.  Healthy,  no; overweight post cancer, missing disks in my back, and that is just the physical.  Emotionally I fight depression weekly if not daily.  Spiritually, I have more good days then bad, but the bad is really bad.  Relationally I guess I am ok, ask people I relate to, maritally,  well doesn’t everybody have ups and downs?  Almost 30 years and I love her more than ever, is that OK?

8. Everytime I think I have a clear vision God changes it. So I guess, no.

5. Opinion required- see financial train wreck.

4. On my good days, yes.  Oh please God that there would be more of those! But honestly, not always.  I can get soo pig headed.  Wow.
So 7 wrong with a weight of 5 points a piece I get a 65.  F. FAIL.  I sure am glad I don’t work for Acts29.  I would be a failure.  God chose me to do what I am doing, He will guide me through.  I feel so blessed.

God has a history of using losers just like me.  Thank you Jesus.

Avoid Guilt By Association, be a NINNIE
December 13, 2008, 10:16
Filed under: Crazed Thought
How to avoid  Guilt by Association be a Ninnie!
 I am going to become an Neo Independent Nondenominational Neighborhood Isolationist Evangelical. That would be NINNIE, for short. I will stop reading ANYONE’S books, blogs or articles. I will associate with no one and go no where. That way nobody can GBA [guilt by association]  me. Actually if somebody does, I won’t know about it.

All my fellow Ninnies will meet to worship in individual cubicles, so as not to associate with each other. We will deny membership to anyone who would want to associate with us, or anybody else.
We will practice 5th degree separation, refusing to associate with anyone who CONSIDERED associating with anyone. By the way 3rd degree separation is refusing to associate with Masons and 4th degree separation is refusing to associate with Knights of Columbus.
You will not be able to accuse us of preaching prosperity as we will reach no one, and to avoid conflict we will have no ministry. We will be against both out reach and impact.
It is not hard to be a Ninnie, just hard to be friends with one. For more information on the NINNIE movement don’t dare contact me or any of us, we will not associate with any of you, we just don’t know with whom you have associated.

Herman and the New Ticks
December 13, 2008, 09:56
Filed under: Crazed Thought | Tags: , ,

Here is a band that is the favorite of many diverse groups!  You can take lyrics that are thousands of years old, and put a fresh new twist to them!  Herman and the New Ticks can play at your group and justify your particular weirdness from scripture, even if it is a bit of a stretch!  Herman  and the New Ticks is available for booking thru any M.Div call early.

   Book now and Herman himself will prove with out of context verse anything you want him to!  Also available The Lee Galists,  the group that sings those old time favorites, “You’re saved when I say     you’re  saved!”  And don’t forget ,”I’m Holier than Jesus , and I’m humble too.”

I wanted to be an Evangelical when I grew up, but..
December 12, 2008, 09:55
Filed under: History, roots of Willohroots, Uncategorized

I think I get it.  I have been reading Internetmonk and blogs linked to him for two years now. It has been hard for me to get through my thick scull  the depth of the emotional hurt many suffer from from a legalistic Evangelicalism.  Years ago I sought a niche in Christianity.  I wanted to belong to some club or group where I could find definition.  Fundamental Evangelicalism sounded great!  Fundamental?  Well of course, who would want to add to what God gave us in the bible?  Evangelical?  Sure! I love to share what I found.

So, when my friends would ask me when I tried to explain God, “What are you?”  I would say I am a Fundamental Evangelical.  Keep in mind this was self diagnosed.  I attempted to fellowship with those I thought kindred spirits, but found they did not want to fellowship with me.  That hurt!

One problem that arose was that I did not think behemoth was a dinosaur, or Job a pre-flood book.  Many cultures call an elephant “the beast with two tails” , I mean how many of us say, “Look at the flexible proboscis on that one!” We call it a trunk because elephants store stuff in there.  So in discussion group at fundy central when I asked why Job should have the descriptive skills of  a veternarian, they got mad.

I was on a fishing trip with a fundamentalist and he told me there was no ice age.  I live on a glacial moraine, but more to the point we were on Lake  Ontario for this discussion, so I asked how the lake was formed and was told,”By the hand of God”.  I believe that, I just think He held a 2 mile high glacier in His hand when He did it.  Again I was told I probably wasn’t even saved.  He also told me there was no Ice age as the earth was 7000 years old.  I have arrow heads almost that old and I live in coal country where fossils abound. Go figure.

Many more examples on request.  Then I found out some of the other distinctives of the faith; no beer,[not one] , no R movies, no open-minded theological debates.  I was floored.  The Holy Spirit had moved me from drunkeness, triple XXX films and bull throwing , but can’t we argue out our thoughts?

Why should my salvation and my ability to witness to others be based on the just one way to interpret the first few chapters of Genisis? Why do people who can’t stand anything at all  Catholic use the dating system of The Bishop of Ulster?  Spurgeon said what a glory God thought of us millions of years ago, but that is not good enough for some.

I should have known better.  When I first became a Christian I remember getting my college student semester sign up sheet back  and it was marked Atheist. The thought that I had filled it out that way the previous semester brought tears of repentance. I saw a square to check for religion: Catholic, no, not me, Protestant, no nothing to protest, Jewish, no, but my Savior was, and other.  I checked other and wrote in Christian.

It came back Catholic, I sent it back again with that crossed out and Christian written in.  It came back this time marked Protestant.  I was frustrated.  I took the card to the registrar and said,” It is a pretty big outfit the Christians, Perhaps you have heard of them? ”  always the wise guy

So I am back to square one Forgive me God for leaving, I will never do it again.  I am a Christian.  I love my fellowship with a lot of people in the SBC, but that does not define me.  Christ defines me.  I seek to be more defined by Him every day.

Ism’s create Schizms in the Body, avoid Christianism
December 4, 2008, 10:12
Filed under: Uncategorized

When   I was  serving as the interim preacher [not pastor] and a fellow came to “Preach to the Call” as they say.  His topic was “The three “isms” destroying America” .  He listed Humanism, Communism, and Homosexualism.  Seriously,  he did.  The church called him.  See how eager to be rid of me they were?

I think of that now as I am sick of “ism’s”.

Calvinism, Arminianism, Evangelicalism, Fundamentalism, Methodism, Catholicism’ Monergism,Protestantism, is-ism , and Isn’t-ism.  You get the point.

We will have to answer for a lot of this.

1Cr 11:19 For there must also be factions among you, so that those who are approved may become evident among you.
Gal 5:20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions,

I know we have to be doctrinally pure to the best of our ability, but factions are not promoted by scripture either.  This Christmas would it not please God to remember what we have in common with The body instead of picking each other a part.  When we are all ready to get together let’s just believe as I do, then there will be no more factions.  Or maybe that attitude is the problem?  You tell me.